Friday, April 27, 2007

Fridays Top Ten..Sexual Positions

Pittsburghbeauty and i are trying to conceive our first child. It would appear that good old missionary is the best way to continue ones bloodline. But hell, there are some real doozies out there. For your reading pleasure my top 10 favorite positions, in no particular order....I think

  1. Reverse Cowgirl-Man on his back, woman on top but facing the other way while straddling.
  2. Side-The I'm too tired to put in too much effort...."me too". Also, know as the rise and shine. Spooning I have to mention the man is behind the woman.
  3. Finishing Move- Picture Missionary, but the woman has her legs closed. great for those drunk night when you just can't seem to finish.
  4. Reverse Finishing move-Her on her stomach, you on top of her. Legs closed.
  5. Doggy- If you don't know...get out of the house.
  6. Kitchen Sex-Anywhere in the kitchen is always good. I prefer the counter top or Island. Facing or from behind is fine.
  7. Cowgirl-Girl on top. It such a wonderful thing to see a beautiful woman on top of you getting what SHE wants.
  8. Shoulder lean-Missionary, but with the man on his knees and the woman legs on his shoulders.
  9. Outdoor-Nothing as exhilarating as the being outdoor with the wind blowing in places that rarely see the sun. My favorite was in the rain, on a car in my parents drive way.
  10. Good old Missionary. You can never forget the one that started it all.

Hope you enjoyed, now go try one out.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

I used to be that guy....

You'll know who I am talking about. The one that was always found on the soccer field, tennis court or cul de sac. Cul de Sac was the best. Home to tennis baseball, Frisbee, Ghost in the Graveyard, kick the can...well you get the picture. I was never inside and my summers were spent with my smelling like a mixture of sweat, grass and suntan lotion (placed on me against my will by mother.)
But now, I find myself with a little more weight on my frame and a lot more gray on my head. What has become of that 32 waist and ribcage. What seems like overnight it has been replaced by my fathers waist and enough fat on my belly to keep a family of bears fed throughout any hibernation.
I know I know..."Well why don't you work out?" Because it is so boring. Everything I have ever done has been a team sport. The idea of competing with or against someone is what drives me. Even in my everyday occurrences I gauge myself to those around me. "If I take a right at this light, I can probably beat him to Rt. 175." "I'm sure that when that light turns green I'll beat you off the line." "I bet I can make you laugh." I have to compete its who I am, whats the point if you are just going through the motions. THERE HAS TO BE A WINNER.
That being said....I'm a soccer coach for 14 year old boys and i don't institute my Darwinian train of thought on them...I do the old "We're out here to have fun....but you know what fun? Winning." The soccer pitch was my domain. But now these 14 year old boys run circles around me. My mind knows what to do, but my body laughs and really think I can do that?
Alas, I'll keep playing kickball and get my rush from there.

Until then, I bet I can be first to hit Publish.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

A man with his rod in his hands

Esmerelda taught me you have to hook them with the title.

So yesterday I returned to something I hadn't done in years. Fishing. It was quiet refreshing and during a time of my life where I am not sure which way is up, it provided a nice escape from reality. It was a guy trip, something put together by people I work with and I tagged along. Cooler packed with beer and a buddy carrying the other end, we boarded our boat "Worm"

There were 12 of us and we passed the time quoting movies, drinking beers and when the unfortunate Striper would clamp down on a lure, reeling in a 35 inch fish. Salt spray in you face, the sun on your arms and not in the office. Since fishing was slow I kept to my mantra "A bad day on the water is still better than a good day at work."

I still remember going fishing with my brother in Vienna, VA. We would have to ask one of the people that lived around the pond permission before throwing our hooks out baited with a mixture of bread and cheese. Our hopes were to catch anything, but the time out there was an event in itself. I college I also did some fishing going as far as buying my own rod and reel. Its one of those things you do and wonder why you don't do it more often.

I returned home at 1100 pm. A long day. I could still smell the blend of Coppertone, fish, and salt on my body. I crawled into bed, my face still hot from the wind and sun taking its toll on it.
I told Pittsburghbeauty about my day. She was happy to hear me like that, it had been a while since she had heard me so relaxed (not since the drunkfest after kickball).

Isn't it amazing that our charter boats captain actually gets the privilege of being on the ocean all day, fishing and boating and calls that his job. What I wouldn't do to have that opportunity.

I wonder if he has room for a deckhand with little fishing experience but lots of time.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Top 10's

I have decided that my Fridays will be my day for random rants and raves. That being said every Friday I will have my top 10.

Today's will be Top 10 movies (in no particular order)
  1. Goodfellas-Better than Godfather. First movie I saw over and over again. I have always been drawn to the mob and this movie allowed my first sneak the making of a mobster. "Ever since I can remember I always wanted to be a gangster."
  2. Castaway-Love it. It always makes me wonder if i could do it...I mean 4 1/2 years on an island. I would love the weight loss, but I think I would use the coconuts to fulfill other urges."I'm sorry Wilson....I'm sorry."
  3. Princess Bride-Funny movie with so many great Quotes. When flipping through the channels I always stay and linger no matter what part of the movie it is in. "Inconceivable. I do not that means what you think it means."
  4. Swingers-My first insight in to single life. Also brilliant quotes that every single guy can be able to relate to. I must however say that there is one scene that I always have to fast forward through. When he returns back to his apt and calls the girl he just over and over and over again. Its too painful to watch. "You're so money you don't even know it."
  5. Some Kind of Wonderful-Let me just say that John Hughes rocks!!! All his 80's movies are brilliant but this one showed that the nerd can win too. Something I can understand and appreciate. Also one of the first soundtracks I feel in love with. "Round and round she goes. Little Miss. Amanda Jones." "You can't just a book by its cover. But, you can tell how much it's gonna cost you."
  6. When Harry Met Sally-My first favorite movie. I like comedians and the fact that a funny guy gets the girl was a big plus in my book. Meg Ryan was also my first crush. "Waiter, there is too much pepper in my poppy cosh. But, I would be proud to partake in your Pecan pie."
  7. Nueve Reynas- Great Argentine Movie. Amazing plot twist. "Que, pensas que soy rata?
  8. Rudy-Still can't watch it without crying. Probably my favorite sports movie. "Rudy! Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!"
  9. Office Space-I always liked it. But, due to recent events. I can appreciate it so much more. "I believe you have my stapler."
  10. Ferris Buellers Day Off-Just all around good movie. Made us all want to be like Ferris. Especially when he looks in to the camera and talks to the audience. Plus, he made synthesizers cool by making sounds like he was sick. "When Cameron was in Egypt's land.......LET MY CAMERON GO."

I love movies. Thank goodness for Netflix.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Dead Ends

In movies its easy to tell when the character has reached the dead end. Often times after driving around aimlessly the character makes one more turn and the cars headlights fall upon a deer standing right in front of the car staring back at them with a wooded backdrop. Its obvious...they can't go any further, it's a dead end.
In real life there is nothing so obvious. I swear that if I was a movie character (named Buck Nekkid) I by know would of seen plenty of deers in plenty of roads.

There's the job-One that was very fulfilling but that has been "eliminated". It allowed my travel, be held accountable for good and bad, manage a venture all on my own and Independence. It has been replaced by....well I wouldn't know. I have spent the last 3 days professionally surfing the Internet. My new would be Manager has failed to contact me. Dead End.

Job Search-Seeing as how the above will probably not be a job fit for me (whatever it is they want me to do.) I have been gone searching for alternate careers. Its funny, you read these postings and you think "I'm perfect for that" and apply. And then....nothing. No email, no call, no "we went another direction". Just air...another dead end. Is it me. I swear I shower daily, can cut my hair if needed (I donate it for Locks of Love), and am a good employee. Just meet me and person and you'll see. Dead End

There's the sex-Once a form of aiding in my sleep and allowing for intimacy between Pittsburghbeauty and I. Has now turned into Ovulation tests, Chlomid, Fertility tests, and releasing my boys into a plastic cup to check for motility. Its been a year now of these joyous interactions. The miscarriage was a nice "Hey here you go....Just kidding" Dead End

Coaching-I am a soccer coach for 14 year old boys. Often times this is my outlet and it allows my opportunity to interact with them, feel young, and reminisce of that days that were my youth. However, the club has contracted a trainer that runs the practice and does so sans any of my assistance. I left yesterday after and 1:15 after realizing that I was doing nothing but getting cold. Dead End

My dog-Literally reached the Dead end. Still think of him.

Pittsburghbeauty-I love her. I often try to put on the facade that nothing affects me and that I can deal with anything. She has stated that if I can't be myself around her then who can I with. After being "myself" and being zoned out thinking of the above mentioned Dead ends, she wants to "talk" about it. Not gonna happen. So now she thinks that I am mad at her and she is depressed. Dead end

I mean seriously can a man catch a break. Don't get me started on taxes.


Tuesday, April 17, 2007


Well this just sucks. It's been 3 days since my dog passed and I still feel like someone is pressing down on my shoulders as I walk. Gone is that glide in my stride and glint in my eye. Which brings up my next blog. If I am taking the loss of my dog this badly, how is it that people who lose children, siblings, parents or spouses move on?
I have been blessed that in my life I have not dealt with Death. Sure I lost all four of my grandparents but they were still in Argentina and I was in Virginia. I cried some, mostly because it hurt me to see my parents like that. But, I moved on.
My lovely wife (Pittsburghbeauty) lost her mother to cancer about a year before we met. I can't imagine. She talks about how wonderful she was and the traits that made her special and she does so with dry eyes. Just the action of getting ice from the fridge brings a tear to my eye (you see ice was one of my dogs favorite treats and in hearing the sound of ice shuffling he would come running from wherever he was.)
I still try to put on a happy face and act as if the loss of my first dog hasn't impacted me... but it has.
I'm angry and lost and I want to blame someone....the question is who?
When will this go away?

Sunday, April 15, 2007

I lost my dog

Not the kind where you have to post sign on telephone poles and offer a reward...but the sad one.
His name was Vegas and I had had him for 9 years. I got him from the pound when I lived in NM. He was full of spunk, love and enough urine to fill Lake Erie. He was a perfect blend of protector, marshmallow and buddy.
We were at the Beach with him and we had just returned from a walk. During the walk he had the same energy that had strengthened our arms and worn holes in our shoes. But, after eating breakfast he wasn't the same dog. Pittsburghbeauty (my lovely wife) had gone shopping and I was left to get the house ready for the renters. Now, you have to know Vegas....wherever someone was, he had to be there. you could be moving from one part of the room to another and he would lift his head up to make sure he could still see you. I was moving from room to room, but no Vegas. I would return to the living room and there he would be...panting. When Pittsburghbeauty returned he had still only moved just a bit, was but still panting. We began our search for a Vet in Bethany Beach, DE. It was not easy we finally found one...and drove the 45 minutes to Salisbury, MD. By the time we arrived he was not my dog anymore....I won't go into details but enough to say from beginning to end he was dead in 4 hours. The staff in "Pet ER" in Salisbury were amazing, I couldn't of asked for a better staff.
He was a great dog. We loved him dearly.
I consider myself a strong person. I can tell you that it has been years since I have cried as much as I have the past 2 days. It is amazing the impact people and pets can have in your life, and not even know it until they have are gone. Like Janis Joplin sang "Why does it always seem to be, you don't know what you got 'til its gone?"
So, if you have a dog, a cat, or anyone/thing you don't say I love you enough to. Grab them and kiss them and tell them what they mean to you.
P.S. We lost Vegas to Canine Bloating. A fatal Canine illness. If you want to read more on it you can go to